“If Only I Could Understand Men…."

Men always say they can’t understand women, and that women are so complicated. Well, for many women, it is the exact opposite. Most would give anything to understand what makes men “tick.” Even though women want to know what he’s thinking, men are often reluctant to share what is in their hearts. What’s a woman to do?

Rather than describe all the differences between the sexes, it is often more helpful to focus on a few areas that any woman can understand.

1) Men are more sensitive than women. While that might sound silly, the truth is that men don’t have the ability to recover from emotional trauma as effectively as a woman. Because of this, men keep themselves from getting too upset. When a man hears he should just “let his feelings out,” what he translates that into is this, “If I let my feelings out, I might not be able to control them.”

2) Men hate fighting. For men, conflict is not simply resolving a problem. Fighting, to a man, means one has to win and the other needs to be totally defeated. Men often prefer conflict that is non-emotional because it is less threatening to them. Once a conflict becomes emotionally charged, it is very difficult for a man to contain those feelings and the most frequent coping skill is for them to become quiet. It may seem like they are punishing you, but they are most likely trying not to lose control.

3) Men want to get married. In spite of what many progressive cultures preach, the truth is that a majority of men in the world do get married. While the freedom of being single has its appeal, it comes with one primary drawback – it is lonely. While this might not sound overly romantic, finding a woman that a man can trust is just as important as finding one who is beautiful.

If you liked these insights, there are more available in Bob Grant’s wonderful e-book called, “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave.” Bob Grant, L.P.C., has taken his 17 years of private practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor and Coach and condensed only the best information into a mouth-watering, powerful handbook on what men find themselves powerless to resist in a woman. You can have this information simply by  clicking here. 

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Let's start at the beginning with one of the most painful situations of all: The Breakup!

Yeah, yeah, we've all heard it before: Into each life a little rain must fall. This is especially true when it comes to break ups. We simply want to bury our heads under the pillows and cry ourselves to sleep. We want to gorge ourselves with Ben & Jerry's while playing the saddest You-broke-my-heart-you worthless-piece-of-crap-please-take-me-back songs in the universe. (Okay, maybe that's just me.)

In short, we want to dwell on the current, painful situation—refusing to believe there are better days ahead. There ARE better days, if we simply believe.

After a break-up, some people resort to stalking their prey—er, ex—in hopes they'll wake up and realize they are the only person on the planet for them. Most often, this ends up very badly—with law enforcement becoming involved.

At the end of a relationship, others will verbally beat themselves up—blaming themselves for the entire break-up. If only I was prettier, better looking, more intelligent, richer, drove a better car, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...Stop with the blame game! It takes two to break up, right?

Others who have their hearts broken will continuously call their ex, tearfully begging or angrily demanding them (depending on their personality) to come back. Let's face it: Forcing someone to love you is not healthy. Besides, it rarely works! And, if you keep up with the harassment, you could end up in court—or worse.

Still others will withdraw from society if a breakup happens. Often, they become numb inside. Nothing—work, food, friends, etc.--interests them. The world keeps on turning for everyone else, but not for them.

Believe me, I do feel your pain. I've been there before—several times—and it hurts like hell. But if I could offer one piece of advice to you, it would be...

Learn from your mistakes! Don't wallow in self-pity! Don't stalk them! Don't beg for another chance! Don't call them right away! Don't be their buddy or pal too soon! Don't sleep with them. And, for goodness sake, don't jump into the next relationship immediately.

You need this time to reflect--not dwell—on why this relationship failed:

Are their personality differences—i.e. Introvert versus extrovert, talkative versus non-talkative, dominant versus submissive, sports junkie versus culture lover, etc.?

Did you have too much or too little time together?

Was one of you more of a giver while the other more of a taker?

Were you on opposite ends of the political, religious, and social spectrum?

There are so many reasons your relationship failed. Carefully analyze the issues. Don't just blame him or her for all the problems. Take notes. Think and reflect.

Taking time to learn from your mistakes helps you to avoid these problems in a future relationship. But, please...Walk, don't run to the next relationship after you've given yourself the time to heal. That way, you're more likely to have a much more satisfying relationship.

  CLICK HERE for effective ideas to make your next relationship a great one!